A collection of situations and stories to step up our game

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Wall Painting

Wall Painting

Tom can paint the wall in two hours alone while his friend can complete the same wall painting in three hours.
Both decide to paint the wall together. How much time will they take to complete?
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Insightful stories to prepare and enhance interview and life skills

Confucius was a great teacher and philosopher. He observed that we may learn wisdom in three ways. First, by reflection, which is the noblest; Second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and Third by experience, which is the bitterest. Confucius suggests that gaining wisdom through reflection is the best followed by imitation. Learning from our thinking and watching others helps us gain wisdom. These methods are better than learning through self-experience. One does and can become wise through one’s experience but this approach has its own deficits. Benjamin Franklin, scientist and inventor, rightly summed it “Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.” If experience is a dear or the bitterest teacher, then we as a rational human being should prefer acquiring most of our knowledge through reflection and imitation. It should be our desired goal, but most of us often don’t utilize the first two methods fully well. What holds us back? Daniel Kahneman, an Israeli-American psychologist, who received the Nobel Prize for his work on the psychology of judgment and decision-making, provides an insight. Nobel laureate Kahneman describes that we have two different ways in which our brain forms thoughts. System 1 is fast, instinctive and emotional and System 2 is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. We survived, over millions of years, relying on our System 1 Thinking, which is immediate, fast, instinctive and effortless. The modern world is complex and calls for deliberate thinking but we still are accustomed and continue to respond from our System 1 Thinking. Most of the situations don’t call for immediate response, these provide us an opportunity to think through our responses. We need to engage in System 2 Thinking which is rational, deliberate, systematic, effortful, and conscious and avoid automatic, emotional, and unconscious responses. In this complex world, we need to engage more often in deliberate thinking, where possible, to avoid human biases. System 2 Thinking is effortful and we often desist it. We procrastinate, delay and at other times, we are over confident and in the process we set ourselves for disappointments and failures. We also fail to pay attention and don’t observe or learn from others experiences. We attribute their failures to them and believe that we don’t suffer from the same deficiencies. It happened to them and will not happen to me. We fail to learn. We also do not seek proactive help because of fear of rejection or seeking help signals that we are weak. System 1 thinking, procrastination, over confidence and our human biases bring us to our last option of learning from our experience. We arrive ill prepared or unprepared and we learn the hard way if we learn at all. We need to break this cycle and understand that we ourselves chose the hard, dear and bitter option of learning through actual situations. The easy way to be wise is to exhaust all options of learning through reflection, imitation, others’ experiences, and feedback before we arrive at the learning from the actual situation. AcetheLife is an endeavour to engage ourselves in System 2 Thinking and learn through reflection, feedback on a collection of stories and situations to find our unique answer. These situations provide us an opportunity to think through our response, enhance rational thinking, develop effective problem solving and decision making skills. Reflection is the noblest way to gain wisdom. While thinking through these situations, we can also invoke “how will my role model approach this problem.” Reflection gives us an opportunity to think and prepare our unique response. It gives us an opportunity to choose our approach, methods and tools. It gives us an opportunity to prepare before we face the actual situation. We as grown up individuals should prefer this approach. A child whose thinking abilities have not grown, learn through imitation. A child observes and watches his environment and picks up clues to deal with the world around him or her. This method is good and effective. As we grow, we also carry on with this approach in our adult life. When we join a new job, we learn the ways of doing work in a new organization. We learn the culture through observation. We learn by observing from others' experiences. We imitate and copy behaviour which have been rewarding for others and desist behaviour which are unrewarding for others. Experience is definitely a dear teacher. It is one of the expensive ways to learn. In our real life we come across situations which are tough and challenging. If we have not thought through the situations we plan to be or have not learnt from others experiences, then we may have set ourselves for a difficult and tough time. Imagine yourself in an upcoming job interview. To do well, you need to know about the interview process, type of questions asked, common dos’ and don’ts, prepare your unique answer to present it confidently in the interview situation etc. What options would you choose to do well in the interview or any given situation? Reading, learning from others, reflecting, writing our answers, preparing in advance, and seeking feedback or attending the actual interview to learn. If we prepare ourselves well before the actual interview, then we can face the interview confidently. Although not all situations can be anticipated in advance, we can still learn most by thinking through the situations (salary negotiation, rent increase, no promotion…) and be prepared. The insights gained through reflection, writing, feedback enable us to understand, see and act on a higher level. Deliberate practice is hard, effortful and requires grit. We need to overcome our laziness and procrastination. We need to be disciplined and motivated to make best use of reflection, imitation and be prepared to ace the situations even if this may be our first time. Taking a small step every day is a better goal than in-frequent long session. One story every day for a few minutes and making it a habit to reflect and discover your response will do the trick to hone your skills. Thinking through the situation and questions, exploring options, finding alternatives, writing down the response, discussing with a friend to elicit feedback for improvement will shape a better response to arrive prepared to ace the life.